Three years ago, I was preparing to graduate from Clemson University and head off on my first “real” adult trip: two weeks in Thailand.
Two years ago, I had just returned from my first ever solo trip to Germany, and was already off on my next big adventure: three months of solo backpacking in Central America. During those 3 months I fell in love with so many places – vibrant Granada, wild Isla de Ometepe, tranquil Lake Atitlan, and of course Utila, the tropical rock in the Caribbean where I discovered my passion for scuba diving.
One year ago I was preparing for yet another unforgettable adventure: a solo trip to Colombia.
Of course, between these specific points in time I’ve visited even more incredible destinations, but it’s interesting to think about where I was and what my mindset was like at this point in time one, two, and three years ago.
So much has happened, and so much has changed…but one thing that hasn’t changed, even a little bit?
My feelings about each of the places I’ve visited.
It doesn’t matter that it’s been almost three years since I visited Thailand – I still clearly remember the smell of incense at the Grand Palace in Bangkok, and the rich, sour flavor of my first bowl of authentic tom yum soup.
I remember how I felt walking along Long Beach at sunset on Koh Phi Phi, licking a cheap green tea ice cream cone from one of those convenience store freezers – tired, sunburnt, and happy.
I think often about my cozy little “hobbit hole” in Tepoztlan, the charming bed and breakfast I stayed at in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, and the incredible Airbnb Derek and I rented in Dubrovnik.
I daydream about strolling the streets of Motovun on the first few days of our honeymoon, indulging in cheap Croatian wine and truffle pasta. I fantasize about tiptoeing on the whitewashed rooftop of the Cathedral de León, and falling asleep to the sound of the crashing ocean waves in Parque Tayrona.
I remember the absolute disdain I felt for my alarm clock when it went off before the morning dive boat in Utila…and the utter happiness I felt when I was finally back under the sea, scuba diving with some of my new favorite people from around the world.
And sometimes, I feel so “homesick” for the places I’ve traveled to that I swear my heart is going to break in half.
Anyone who has ever been homesick knows exactly how it feels; it’s as if a piece of your heart and soul is missing, as if you’ve left it behind in a place you love, with people you love. You miss the familiarity of it all – your apartment or house, your bed, your living room, your corner store, your roommates, your street.
But you also miss how it feels to be there – to wake up there, make breakfast there, go about your daily routines there, fall asleep at night there.
And for travelers, that place you’re feeling “homesick” for doesn’t have to be home at all.
As impossible as it may sound to be homesick for a place that isn’t home, I’ve written about this topic before and learned that I’m far from being the only traveler who has experienced this feeling.
I believe it’s because the more you travel, more connected you feel to the world as a whole. Peru and France and China stop feeling like faraway lands that you have no connection to, and suddenly “become real.”
Travel breathes life and meaning into these places, and it’s impossible to visit them without leaving bits and pieces of your heart there, too.
It’s not just the place, either – it’s the people you met there, and the way they made you feel when you were with them.
Sometimes, I actually think this is the part that hits me the hardest.
In my travels, I’ve met so many wonderful and unique people from around the globe. Social media makes it easy to stay “connected” to them, but it’s a rough realization that your relationship with them will likely never extend beyond Facebook or Instagram ever again.
How is it possible to share dinner and drinks and experiences and memories and meaningful conversations with someone, only to discover that your relationship has faded into nothing more than an occasional Facebook like? How is it possible to go from seeing someone every single day during your travels, to never seeing them again?
Friendships are formed quickly on the road, but it seems that most of them burn out quickly, too. And that’s a sad fact that all travelers must face at some point.
What’s more, even if you were to go back to those places you’re missing, the people would all be different…and at that point, would it even feel the same anyways?
It doesn’t matter how long it’s been – I’ll never stop being “homesick” for the places I’ve traveled to.
I’ll likely always look back with longing at the places I’ve visited around the world – from those quick weekend trips to those longer multi-month adventures – and mourn the fact that I’ll probably never experience them the same way with the same people ever again.
And to the many people I’ve met on the road, like:
- The kind Australian girl I met in Fussen, who was the first “friend” I made on my first ever solo trip;
- The lovely ladies I traveled throughout Nicaragua with;
- The welcoming group of travelers who worked at that hostel on Lake Atitlan;
- My whole crazy Utila family – because so many of those wild people truly did become like family after my 2 months there, even if we rarely talk now;
- The strangers in that bar in Medellin I watched the 2016 U.S. election results with;
- The fun crew I river tubed with in Palomino;
- The hilarious travel agents I spent a week exploring Paris with;
- And all of the other wonderful people I’ve met from around the world – a list which is far too long to include in its entirety;
I just wanted to say this: We may not have spent much time together – anywhere from a few days to a few months – but I look back on our brief yet memorable adventures together all the time….and I have a feeling that I always will.
Can you relate to the feeling of being homesick for a place that isn’t home? How do you cope with missing places, people, and experiences you may never encounter again?
Another question: Have you ever returned to a place that you were missing? What was it like; had anything changed, for better or worse?
Aww I really love this post and the imagery in your descriptions of the places you miss. I feel like this SO often… right now I’m homesick for Slovenia, I totally fell in love with that country. And as someone who lives abroad I always feel homesick for where I’m originally from, but when I go “home” I get homesick for where I live… tricky!
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I can totally relate to this! Sometimes I’ll get a little reminder from social media about what I was doing a year ago and I’ll think about one of my favorite places, or it’s those Facebook relationships that I have with some of the people that we met at Oktoberfest last year. Your memories make you miss the place, but at least you have those memories to fall back on.
I can definitely relate to this! I went to Newfoundland earlier this year, and every time I go to write a post about it, I find myself missing it so much. I have gone through days where all I want to do is listen to Newfoundland music because I missed it! And that goes for other places I’ve been fortunate to visit too. Taking photos really helps me remember the feelings I felt there. Often, I’ll look at a photo and remember exactly what I was feeling the moment I took the photo!
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Can totally agree! It’s why I moved back to Germany, but now its been 5 years and Im homesick for home but I’m equally homesick to buy a little cottage in England or a halftimbered house in Germany for to move to Belgium for the chocolate and beer. I honestly could live everywhere and anywhere, but its hard to make a decision on just one place. It been so amazing to meet people from all over the world! #WanderfulWednesday
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I know the feeling so well and it’s so true, it’s not just the place but the whole mix of people you met and things you ate and smells and views and music… Just one of those feelings that’s incredibly difficult to put into words!
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I went to Spain to study abroad and enjoyed it immensely! I felt as if I was leaving a part of “Me” behind when I returned to the States and still miss it dearly 🙁
I can definitely understand how you would feel that way, Spain is a magical place!
I know exactly how that feels!
I recently came back from a one month trip in Japan and struggling to understand the feeling as to why I feel so empty and sad now. I really really want to go back but know it’d probably be another year or two before that happens. I miss everything about that place from the culture to the people and the food. I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way.
That sounds like an amazing experience! I can totally understand why adjusting back to “normal life” is difficult after a trip like that. Japan seems incredible, I hope you do get the chance to go back one day!
I went to the States to work as a camp counselor for 4 months.. right now i’m back home in Europe and after 6 weeks I still miss the camp life and all the friends I make. When I look at pictures it just makes me smile and heartbroken at the same time. I can totally relate to this. The homesickness gets to me a lot and I feel like i’m not happy at al right now while at home. The adventures I had and the feeling I got from camp is something you can’t discribe. I felt so alive and free.
I can relate. I used to go to Asilomar every year for 2 weeks for a church retreat. The was back in the late 70’s. 40 years later I’m so homesick for that place. I can drive there in 3 hours but it’s not the same as those 2week retreats and all the people met and meals shared.
hi i just came across this article and it pretty much sums up what i’ve been feeling recently.
i visited stockholm,sweden for the first time last august and for the whole five day stay i was there i felt like i was home, like this was the place where i belong and i’ve travelled a lot around europe but i didn’t feel as connected to the cities or countries until i got to sweden, i even still think about the old lady i met and wish i got to thank her because she was very nice to me. i legit cried when i had to hop on the ferry to helsinki cause i didn’t want to leave…i really thought i was going to stay there forever. i know i’ll be back soon one day, and i’ll finally fulfill my dreams and plans of living there.
Thank you so much for writing this! My homesick feelings are validated and it’s not just me.
I grew up traveling and living overseas from the time I was 3 I until I was 18. I’m 45 now and have never felt like I fit here in the states. Like my core started overseas and was my normal. When my husband and I traveled to Germany last year to visit family (I hadn’t been back since 1990), it was like I stepped back into the life I fit into and I was home. It was so easy and so hard to come back to this home where I am now. The homesickness can be so overwhelming. I am grateful to live where I do and with my family here in the a states but it’s just not the same and is so hard to explain to anyone else. How do you manage the ‘across the pond’ homesickness?
Thank you again and God bless!
I feel the same way too. Intense feelings for places I’ve been before. It’s not just about the place. It’s about the people, routines, memories.. Things that will never make me feel whole again even if I revisited the place..
I feel homesick for my cousins house in Minnesota, We spent the week there and I just want to go back and spend the next week there.
That sounds so lovely! I totally relate to that feeling.
I’ve been searching for articles like this one just to prove to myself that I’m not mad! One specific place stands out above the rest for me, I’ve travelled to several fairly popular places, none so niche as those mentioned in the article. I’ve spent time in Sarajevo, Berlin, Stockholm, Ypres and a few others and I’ve enjoyed them, but I think longingly about New York City every single day, without fail. My partner and I went there in August last year (2019), it was where I proposed to her and we did all the generic touristy things. I’d been before, on a trip with my 6th form college, when I was 17 (I’m now 24) and felt an immediate connection. After returning home in August I almost immediately began pining for New York, so much so that I would regularly feel quite emotional about being so far away (England) and so “not rich enough to live there”. My fiancee recognised this and would often catch me day-dreaming, looking at things like apartment listings in Greenwich Village and POV walking videos of a guy just walking the streets of Manhattan with a camera strapped to his chest on YouTube. We agreed to go back there in the February just gone, and we did some of the stuff we missed out on the first time around as well as some more, lesser known things that I’d discovered in my “research”. I’ve gone on a bit here, more than I intended to at first, but New York City really does feel home-like to me, the affinity I feel for that place is crazy given my introverted nature. I came back from our trip in February feeling good, like I’d sort of got it out of my system (for lack of a better phrase) and could go on without obsessing about going back but alas, I’m typing this at 4am during quarantine!
New York City definitely has a very unique magic to it! Totally understand being drawn to visit again and again, some of my friends and family are the same way.
Oh my, I’m going to cry. I’ve been spending my summer vacation at the very same place for 14 years except this year due to coronavirus. That place truly feels like my second home, I know it like the back of my hand, the hosts are like family, thousands of memories tie me to the area. But I know if I left to live there, I’d feel somesick for my actual home where I’ve lived all my life.
I have been looking now for 2 years to find some kind of acknowledgment that i’m not crazy when I cry every night about my home in Samui. I went to Koh Samui Thailand 10 years ago and within 3 days of being in Koh Samui, i knew that this was where i was meant to be. I felt like my whole life i was searching for something, for purpose and meaning and i found it there in the first 3 days. Within 2 years of visiting it for the first time, I followed my dream and embarked a plane to try and live there for a year and see what happens. However, while in canada during this 2 years it took me to get there, i felt extremely homesick for samui and cried a lot, and i had only been there for 3 weeks. I almost didn’t make the flight home to Canada from that first trip and i didnt even care. (very not like me i never leave loose ends) i was where i was meant to be. But i had a career, plus 2 part time jobs, and a few pets to get back to. I’m not sure if anyone has experienced that feeling but once it hits you, it’s impossible to ignore.
A lot of people struggle when they move here, but I was blessed. I managed to move my whole life, dogs included into Samui and start not one but 3 different careers. When i visited other countries for holidays, or even went back to Canada to visit family, i would always count down the days until i could go back home to Samui. I never thought for a second i would ever leave this place. EVER. Samui is truly my home. Unfortunately circumstances happened and after nearly 6 years of living in Samui I had to suddenly move back to Canada. Whilst we wait out this COVID, uncertain of our future in Thailand, i still cry daily about missing my home. To the point where i wonder if it’s depression. Everyone says get over it, and doesn’t truly get it. It’s the only place i have ever felt home. I cant say its the culture or the food, or even the people. Its the island, it’s the sun, the sea the sand and the surf. The rest is a bonus. I’ve been around the world and there isn’t a single place i’ve ever been that makes me feel like Thailand does.
I had a great life in Canada before leaving, friends, boyfriend, car, motorcycle, house, dog, cat and lots of friends with so much to do there never was a dull moment. It took awhile to find my place and make real connections in Samui, but i didn’t miss my old life, even my family for one second whilst building a life in thailand and I don’t even feel guilty for that.
It’s been almost 2 years since i left samui, and i’m counting the days until i go back. I have cried nearly every single day since i left. No Joke. Every day. I feel like my heart has been ripped in two. I try and compare myself to people with real problems and issues. What about refugees that get run out of their countries? They deserve to cry and be homesick. I say to myself how lucky am i to be able to come back to Canada. I am. I am blessed. I am lucky. None of this makes me feel any better. Even my psychologist doesn’t understand this either. Leaving Samui is the very reason why i need to see a psychologist in the first place lol and it’s not helping. I feel all alone in feeling this way and i also feel very childish and stupid for feeling this but i just can’t help it. My heart belongs there and living in a cold wintery ice box doesn’t help (yes i am active and get outside and do as much sports and winter sports as i can to help ease the pain of missing warm water surfing).
I will be going back but when is what makes it uncertain and scary.As COVID and all these new restrictions, uncertainty in the government. Will we need a vaccine to travel? Will the flights there be affordable? Will i ever live there again? i’m not sure if that’s possible during these times and i think that also scares me too as i watch so many of my friends and family leave samui to go back to their perspective countries to make the living that they cant anymore in samui due to loss of tourism.
So thank you everyone for listening, its felt better to share this, and get some understanding myself re-reading this. I just want to know im not crazy or alone in thinking this way. IM tired of feeling so sad all the time for a country i cant even be in right now.
If anyone has any tips or ideas, im open to listening,
J