Sometimes I feel as if there are two versions of myself: the “me” that lives on this blog, and the “me” that lives in the real world.
To be honest, I have no idea how my personality actually comes across on this blog, but I try my hardest to be friendly, approachable, clever, outgoing, entertaining and transparent.
However, from what I’ve been told by friends, family members, acquaintances, and even strangers that I’ve only just met, the way that I sometimes come across on this blog is actually quite different than the way that I am “in the real world.”
How so? I’m literally one of the most introverted, private, quiet, and reserved people that I know!
It’s kind of comical, right? The idea that someone could be extremely private, yet want to blast personal details of their life all over the internet? Or the idea that someone could be quiet and reserved, yet go out of their way to connect with readers and other bloggers from around the world?
Or, perhaps most surprising of all, that someone as introverted as me could leave my comfort zone to travel completely alone and make friends around the globe…AND LIKE IT.
After all, aren’t introverts supposed to be, like, super shy and afraid of communicating with anyone and everyone?! How are we supposed to make friends on the road?! How are we supposed to fend for ourselves when we can’t even speak the same language as the majority of the people around us?! How are we supposed to leave the shadowy comfort of our homes to venture out into the world alone, without our skin burning in the sun?!
(…Oh wait, that’s vampires, not introverts! Same thing I guess…?)
The point is, while almost everyone who travels alone gets nervous from time to time, many introverts often have an extra tendency to doubt their ability to travel on their own, usually because they’re so used to standing off to the side in other social situations, or because they’re not used to “putting themselves out there,” or because they have a comfort zone that’s a bit too clearly defined.
But can I let you in on a secret?
Introverts often make the BEST solo travelers!
After all, think about the whole concept of “solo travel.”
Yes, there are plenty of times when you’ll need to step up and interact with complete strangers during any solo trip, like on public transportation, or when asking for directions, or when settling into your accommodation (especially if you’re staying in a hostel).
BUT, on a true solo trip there will also be a lot of time spent, well…solo! And who is better equipped to handle that than an introvert?
Many introverts are used to spending a lot of time by themselves without feeling lonely, which can definitely come in handy:
- On long plane or train rides
- When you’re having a hard time connecting with anyone at your hostel
- When you spend an entire day exploring on your own in a new city
- When you need to sit down for a meal in a restaurant by yourself
- When it’s been a few days since you’ve had a real conversation with anyone at all
While many extroverts may feel lonely and burnt out after so much time alone, introverts often feel relaxed, peaceful, confident, and fully in their element (at least, that’s how I always feel during my solo travels!).
If you’re an introvert who’s thinking about taking the leap into solo travel, here’s what you need to know:
1. Introverts: You’re not alone (even if it feels that way).
It often feels like our world is run by extroverts – politicians, celebrities, powerful business executives, and other influencers are often extroverts, which can make introverts feel isolated and misunderstood.
However, according to recent estimates, roughly 50% of the world’s population is introverted. Additionally, there may be a greater number powerful and well-know introverts than you think!
According to the 16 personalities test, I have an INFJ personality type (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). According to these results (which, based on my own self-perception, are scarily accurate), I’m definitely extremely introverted.
I highly recommending taking this test if you’re interested in learning more about your personality type – there’s a lot of valuable information in there, and it can be so helpful in understanding your unique strengths and contributions to the world.
For me, one of the most interesting parts about knowing my personality type is getting to see the names of well-known, wildly inspiring people who share my personality type. Looks like I’m in good company, eh?! Just look at the introverted adventurers in that first row!
Over the years, I have really learned to come to terms with my personality traits, including my affinity for spending time alone and my need to “recharge my batteries” after interacting with others, even in small doses.
Best of all, I’ve learned how to leverage my introverted tendencies to make the most of my solo travel experiences, as well as how to take care of myself and keep from getting burnt out while on the road (it happens!).
2. People will probably think you’re weird, awkward, and antisocial sometimes. It’s okay.
Let’s just get this out of the way, shall we?
I don’t think of myself as a particularly shy, awkward, or antisocial person. But I guarantee I’ve come across that way to plenty of people I’ve met on the road.
After all, I can be pretty quiet, and I’m super content to just sit back and chill while those around me in engage in conversation. I love soaking in the stories and hearing what other people have to say, and I feel much more content listening than I do speaking.
That said, I’ve probably come across as a weird lurker in multiple social interactions. As in, “who is that weird quiet girl at our table and why doesn’t she speak?”
I have literally no qualms with eating alone in a restaurant, hanging out alone in hostels, or signing up for a group tour by myself. But, I definitely know that this can look strange to some travelers!
And you know what? It’s fine.
It’s my trip, and if I want to order a pint of beer at the Hofbräuhaus in Munich or have a picnic in Paris all by my lonesome, I will…and I won’t let the confused stares and questioning looks get in my way.
That said…
3. Take risks, and get outside your comfort zone.
Whatever your reason is for traveling (to “find yourself,” to learn more about the world, to experience other cultures, etc.) it will absolutely, positively, 100% help you if you get used to the idea of stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying things that are new to you – including initiating conversations, and saying “yes” to things when you’d rather say “no.”
This could include:
- Signing up for a group tour
- Inviting someone from your hostel to grab a bite to eat
- Asking someone from your hostel if they’d like to visit an attraction together
- Asking someone from your hostel where they’ve been on their trip so far
- Hanging out with groups from your hostel, even if you’re tired or uncomfortable at first
I’ve always been pretty reluctant to strike up conversations with random strangers, but my experience with solo travel has made it so much easier for me. All it takes to start a conversation with a fellow traveler is a simple question, like “How long have you been here?” or “Where are you from?” or “Have you been to XYZ attraction yet?”
Travelers tend to be very receptive to other travelers who ask questions, and by asking a question first, it takes the pressure off of you to do most of the talking. Plus, introverts are usually great listeners, so put those skills to use by listening to everyone’s stories and learning deeply about this world you’re off exploring.
4. Break up hostel dorm stays with private rooms.
I can’t stress this enough: If you’re an introvert who’s going to be on the road for multiple months (or even weeks), you probably shouldn’t stay in dorm rooms 100% of the time.
I actually really love staying in hostels. It puts me in a situation where it’s ridiculously easy to meet others; after all, if you’re sharing a bunk bed with a complete stranger, there’s a good chance you’ll have at least one opportunity to strike up a conversation or two.
But after a few weeks of sharing my personal space with others, I NEED some down time in a private room. Sometime’s it’s as easy as moving into a private room in a hostel; other times, it might be worth booking a room in a guesthouse, bed & breakfast, or traditional hotel.
Either way, staying in a private room for 2 or 3 nights every now and then allows you to carve out some valuable alone time and recharge your batteries.
Trust me – after a few weeks on the road, grabbing some take-out, locking yourself in your room, and watching Netflix on a spotty WiFi connection for an entire day will feel like the biggest luxury in the world.
5. Seek out quiet, natural spaces on your travels.
When I’m traveling solo, I often feel the most content when I’m in a place with wide open spaces, beautiful nature, and few other people around.
As much as I love visiting big, bustling cities like New York and Bangkok, I can really only handle large cities like that for 2 or 3 days before I end up feeling drained and ready to leave. The go-go-go mentality, countless interactions with fellow strangers, relentless noise, and overwhelming sights, smells, and sounds really get to me and bring me down after a while.
Some of my favorite travel destinations so far include:
- Berchtesgaden, Germany: population ~8,000
- Tepoztlan, Mexico: population ~14,000
- Amboise, France: population ~12,000
- Isla de Ometepe, Nicaragua: population ~30,000
- Santa Cruz La Laguna, Guatemala: population ~6,000
Aside from the very small populations, these destinations are all abundant in natural beauty and are perfect places for hiking, going on aimless walks, taking photos, soaking in the views, and reading/writing in solitude outdoors.
In other words, pretty much perfect travel destinations for introverted personality types!
6. Bring plenty of books, music, and movies.
It’s important for introverts to be able to escape from “the outside world” every now and then while they’re traveling. While booking stays in private rooms is one of the best ways to handle this, it may not always be practical due to timing or budget constraints.
That’s why I ALWAYS travel with my Kindle, and keep my laptop and iPhone stocked with plenty of music and movies. If you’re staying in a hostel and just need a bit of downtime, pop in your headphones and watch a movie, or lie down and a read a book.
Your roommates should get the hint and give you your space, and you’ll have a chance to unwind and build your energy back up.
7. Make friends and travel with them when you feel like it, but don’t be scared to break away.
If I haven’t made this clear already, I will now: it’s SO easy to make friends while traveling solo.
There are WAY more solo travelers than you might expect, and many of them are eager to meet new people, make new friends, and have new experiences with other travelers from around the world.
I personally enjoy partnering up with one or two other solo travelers and spending a few days exploring with them. For one thing, conquering public transportation in foreign cities is much easier and less intimidating when you have someone else with you, and it can also be nice to share some of those special travel experiences and memories with others.
Last year in Nicaragua, I actually met a girl who I traveled very well with, and we spent nearly two weeks together exploring various cities. But at the end of those two weeks, I was definitely suffering from a bit of burn-out, and needed a few nights of recovery before I was ready to be social again.
If you meet someone on your trip who you want to keep traveling with, go for it! But if you start feeling like you need to be on your own again, that’s perfectly okay too.
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Are you more of an introvert or an extrovert? Do you think your personality affects the way you travel?
I’m an INTJ, and I can identify with so much of what you’re saying..! I can’t do cities for more than a few days, I’m sitting right now in a hostel in Italy and kind of thinking ‘I should take a day or two in a hotel soon’, I don’t mind being alone in restaurants or anything else at all.. Solo traveling is awesome, but I love it for the opposite effects it has as well, as you said: you get to go a little outside your comfort zone and ‘practise’ being social especially in hostels.
Cheers,
Maria
Maria recently posted…How to Spend a Day in Brisbane, Australia
Totally agree, staying in hostels has been really helpful at pushing me outside of my comfort zone! Definitely treat yourself to a night or two in a quiet hotel soon, though 😉
Hi Maria;
I will be traveling to Italy in June 2017 – solo & I am looking for hostels. What hostel are you or did you stay in while in Roma?
A scared solo traveler
Mary
maryelizabeth.mcc@gmail.com
I’M AN INFJ TOO!!!! I always suspected we were sort of the same person. And private room + a netflix day is always my number one tip for introverts asking me about coping while on the road, haha. Love it!
Silvia recently posted…19 Awkward Things That Happen When You Return From Backpacking
Ahhh I love that!! Totally makes sense to me too! And yes, I honestly don’t think I could survive long trips without locking myself away in a private room every now and then haha.
Kelly, thanks for sharing, I think we can all assume travellers are all loud, bubbly, go go go and constantly around people, sights and sounds. Yes it is totally fine to splurge on a comfy private room. Its totally fine to take care of ourselves after giving out to others. It’s awesome that you know yourself and that you are aware. Great post!
Kara recently posted…Seattle Photo Highlights
Thanks Kara!!
I would love to travel solo sometime! Your points make it sound even easier than I had imagined when it comes to being social (or not!)
You should totally go for it – I have a feeling you’d love it! 🙂
Love this post, it hit home with me on so many points! I love solo travel because it’s so much easier to be more outgoing than it would be normally. It’s kind of like, what do you have to lose?! 🙂
xVictoria
Culture Passport recently posted…{photo diary} One Day in Monaco. . .
That’s exactly how I feel! I honestly think that the most outgoing I’ve ever been in my life has been during my solo travels.
I can really relate to your post! I love travelling by myself! The part where you say that private rooms are required to charge your batteries is so true! When I travelled through South Korea I stayed in dorm rooms one week and the next week I stayed in private rooms. I needed my private space 🙂
Dominique recently posted…Jeju Island – A Handful of Cultural Sights
That seems like a good schedule for switching things up. I love having private space too!
Kelly | The Wandering Blonde recently posted…3 Months in Central America: What I WISH I Packed
Seriously Guys, I really need to try this.
Have never been travelling alone I always have a companion with me, reading the post and the experiences you people shared is so coollll.
Will definitely plan for a solo travel quite soon. 🙂
Keep posting
Cheers 🙂
Rezmin recently posted…Malaysia Travel Guide and Information
You should totally go for it! 🙂
I am you. You are me. I am definitely the “weird quiet girl” even though I’m usually just off in my own world or whatever, but I don’t feel as shy as I come off to other people…I just don’t like to talk all the time. ha! This is such a great post and I agree with everything you’ve said. I always book a few nights here and there in a private room so I can watch Netflix and get some peace & quiet before getting back out there to meet new people.
Introverts really do make for great solo travelers. I go and do things on my own, book tours on my own, go eat at restaurants on my own, and I’m totally comfortable with it. I always have people asking me how I do it but it’s just natural to me. Traveling alone has also taught me how to actually be social, (which I didn’t exactly excel at before I started traveling).
Courtney recently posted…Hiking the Abel Tasman Coast Track: Bark Bay to Anchorage
Hahah yesss! Love hearing from fellow travelers who can relate. And I agree, I think we get the best of both worlds. Introverts obviously don’t mind hanging out, traveling, and doing stuff alone, yet travel also pushes us out of our shell more.
Amazing ! Meeting introverts are super easy here under introvert title post ! 😊
Man! Loved this post, thank you! I am the same personality type as many of you and it feels so good to know that I am not alone! Makes me downright giddy, actually. I have done a little bit of traveling with friends in the past, but not since I started to really understand who I was, and appreciate my introverted-ness. In a month I will be off on a 4 month adventure with my extroverted boyfriend. Such a great reminder that my needs will be different, and that is okay! <3
Yes, definitely keep that in mind during your trip! At times I wonder if I’m being too antisocial but then I just remember that I need some more time to recharge and relax than other people and that’s tooootally okay 🙂
Great article. Thank you for writing this story 🙂
I can totally relate, I am very introvert and reserved and i was very curious to see how that would work with backpacking.
Now ive been backpacking twice (in 2015 for three months and in 2016 for three months).
Most time i spend by myself, which was fine (some people cant understand that). But i made a lot of friends and even spend days/weeks travelling with strangers.
It was an amazing experience!
That’s awesome! It’s a good thing that you just went for it, and it sounds like it turned out well 🙂
Ah, what a good post! I’m an INTP (logical, daydreamer, completely disorganised – it’s taken me about three weeks to write this reply…). A lot of it has certainly rung true for me.
My friends and family’s view of this is dismissive – they don’t believe I can *possibly* be an introvert, given my tendency to go on my own halfway round the world to some obscure country on the periphery of their knowledge (usually places with a negative impression). But while it’s one thing to push my limits in doing new things and visiting new places, it’s completely another to start, shock!, talking to people – it’s something I rarely do at home, never mind abroad.
many introverts often have an extra tendency to doubt their ability to travel on their own – yep, this. Whenever the plane starts to land in a new destination, my mind goes into a kind of anxiety-ridden overdrive; will I be able to cope? Will I be able to get out of the airport? Will I spend all my time locked inside a dorm room, unable to get out for the fear of having to talk to the locals in a foreign language? Will I feel brave enough to go inside somewhere, to eat? Will I be able to get some money from the ATM? What happens if I get stuck without money? And other such outwardly silly questions, but which at the time make me wonder why I’m doing it at all. And it happens every single time – regardless of how often I travel.
Nothing bad usually happens. And even if it does, I’ve tended to notice I’ve acted really calmly and quite level-headedly, surprisingly so, if I give myself a chance to think about it. But I guess that’s when adrenaline kicks in, overriding my introversion and makes sure that the simple, necessary, stuff gets done.
There have been occasions where it has simply got too much for me and I’ve come home early from a trip; I find it really hard to admit that as I feel like a failure when it’s happened, but talking to my friends has reassured me that that feeling is all in my head – that I went at all makes me a success, and ‘brave’ (I hate that word!).
I think though what often gets me through is my sole mantra: “Knowledge is Power”. The more you know; the more you research what to do, where to go, what you need; the better and more self-confident I feel, and the easier I’ll find my trip. This applies to everything, even down to “I need to take this door out of the airport, and buy a ticket for that amount of money from this specific blue booth”. That I often do this in a panic measure at the last possible moment before my flight is neither here nor there … :p
A couple of other things:
I often feel the most content when I’m in a place with wide open spaces, beautiful nature, and few other people around. – ditto! I’m a big fan of both forests and hills, and I’ll always take a look for some close-by hiking opportunities.
But even if I’m stuck in a city, I’ll just go for a wander on my own, out of the tourist centres, to explore more of the wider area. Sometimes you’ll even find more interesting things that way – for instance I’m a big fan of street art. And microbeer.
As for your ‘posed self-timer’ pic; not weird at all – indeed pretty much all of my selfies are taken the same way! Absolutely fine in the middle of a field, but I do get strange looks sometimes on the city streets. I do try to make sure no-one’s around when I do it though, and 10 seconds feels like an awfully long time sometimes!
<b<There are WAY more solo travellers than you might expect – On my travels around the world, I’ve met far more solo travellers than any other type (and, perhaps surprisingly, the majority of them have female). It doesn’t seem to matter where, either – I’ve met just as many solo backpackers in Europe as I did in Central Asia.
Of course not all of them are introverts, but if I don’t feel like socialising then I won’t, even if it means the social areas of the hostels end up being quite quiet (and as you say too in point 6, I’ve tended to find is that there’ll be a small group of social backpackers at one end, and scattered around the rest of the room are the introverts, usually busy on their phones or computers, or reading a book). Or, one of them might say something, ask a question to the staff about getting to a particular place, and then my ears will prick up because I want to go there too – and often it’s cheaper and easier to travel with someone if the place is a bit off the beaten track.
Sorry, bit of a long post! 🙂
I love everything about your whole response and really enjoyed reading it, so thanks! I totally agree with you that knowledge is power and that doing plenty of research before the trip is super important, especially for introverts who are more likely to feel comfortable researching on their own rather than asking around when they get there (especially if there’s a foreign language involved). Sounds like we have a lot of travel philosophies and practices in common! 🙂
Nice job on this. You nailed it. I, too, am a solo traveller introvert (age 44), INFP, and I have done three long trips (3-6 months duration for each) around the world throughout my lifetime. Introverts travel really well solo. We just need to remember to cut ourselves some slack while we’re on the road and not feel pressured to be like everyone else. As an introvert, I observe so much when I travel. It allows me to really soak it all in and capture the memory forever.
Thank you for writing it! I am not surprised by any – but there needs to be more validation and acceptance (including self-acceptance) for introverts.
I am on a complete extreme of being introverted… i can go days without seeing a person and I feel best then. That’s why I chose hiking solo – with a tent (no issues with hostels). I loved that sometimes over a week I talked maybe with one or two people (other than saying ‘hello’ or asking for direction). I came back from a month of that kind recharged and calm.
I can’t do “small talk” like many other introverts, so it’s hard to chat about “nothing” with strangers. But when I find someone who’s similar, with whom I can talk seriously about something – it can be hours! During my hiking I met once a guy, who was doing the same trail and we were staying at the same wild camping spots, talking for hours in the evening and in the morning. But that happens rarely 😀 And also, I could do it, b/c I had hours of serene, lone walking during the day, just me and nature.
After many years I finally accepted my introverted nature – but it wasn’t easy.
I think it’s really important for people to learn to know and accept themselves. After all, there’s no need to force yourself into a lifestyle that doesn’t work for you and makes you uncomfortable, right? Sounds like you’ve really nailed it on that front! I can definitely go several days without needing to interact with anyone, but any longer than that and I do think it’s nice to have some company. I think I’m okay (ish?) at making small talk, but I totally agree that deeper conversations are the best!
This post is literally me. Every point you made I relate to. I’m also an INFJ and have a obsession for travel. I’m definitely the awkward guy in the corner… As I literally sit here writing this comment from the corner of a common area of a hostel in Cambodia… Having my Kindle and finding awesome places to read is probably one of the things that keeps me most sane amongst all of the forced interaction and small talk that comes with hostel travel. Don’t get me wrong, I love hostel travel, but it can be overwhelming when you’re constantly surrounded by apparently outgoing individuals. Definitely looking forward to staying in a private room next week!
Hahah, cheers to being the awkward person in the corner! I think hostel travel becomes much more enjoyable once you learn to just own who you are and tweak your travel plans/style to meet your needs. Enjoy Cambodia!!
I loved this post as I am quite an introvert myself so I could definitely relate! I’ve booked a group tour around SE Asia for this coming summer (step 1 out of my comfort zone) and as a result I’ll have a few days solo in Bangkok, my first time solo travelling (a massive step 2)! Reading about your experiences of making friends as a solo traveller has definitely put my mind at rest somewhat and I’ll definitely be stocking up on plenty of music and movies now!
Oh yay, that sounds like an amazing trip! I’m sure you’re going to have the best time ever, but definitely stock up on those movies and songs!
Thank you for sharing. I totally identify with you and don’t feel like such a weirdo. Some of my friends probably think I’m weird because I don’t mind, and actually prefer solo travel. But being a solo traveler does make you strike up conversations with other travelers and locals, but I don’t mind that at all.
Christine from Southern California
😊
Weirdos unite! 😀 I’ll definitely always love solo travel as well!
Great article. I’m an INFJ-A (I just had to do the test after I saw the link) and haven’t been backpacking for a few years so feeling a little anxious about being 35 and heading out for a 6 month journey in a few weeks. Solo travel definitely pulls you out of your shell. ….. always feel like I slide back into that shell the longer I stay home and then find myself needing to travel just to pull myself back out again. Side note…. read your article on Santa Cruz/Atitlan ….. wondering if you had heard anything positive/negative about Cooperative Spanish School in San Pedro (and homestays)…… I’m pretty sure it’s the one for me…hard to know without being there though…. Cheers
Great to read some advice here, so well done for posting this Kelly.
Yep, I am a wisher for travelling and an introvert as well. Solo travel is what I wish for.
What brings you to travel around so much? I am guessing work? Always important to find the work you wish for too.
I am an introvert myself and being alone sometimes is a good sign. Thanks for your words.
Glad to hear you can relate! Happy travels!
Nice sharing ! I love reading this !
Yup. I am all that points you have said there. Genuine introvert. A solo traveler. Except that i am a Muslim…so choosing what to eat and drink…and where to perform my prayers are honestly my biggest challenge if i go to some countries. But overall that added adventure really helped lifted my strength and confidence with people around me. I kept encountered with kind hearted and open minded people which im so happy and grateful for though like you said, even a lil conversation can drain me quickly. Seriously i cant help that.
I’m craving to traveling again….but rather stay calm for now until condition is right. Lets pray together that we can travel freely again in the near future !