Ramblings on Life, Travel & Happiness

I realized today that it’s been a loooong time since I’ve shared a genuine life update; plenty of guides and travel recaps, but nothing that really delves into my personal life or mental state.

So, here goes…

Y’all, life is good these days. I’m so happy!

In fact, these past two years have truly been the happiest of my life. Sure, I still have days when my anxiety flares up, or when life seems to become super stressful and chaotic all at once, or when I need a good cry for seemingly no reason at all.

But honestly, I think all that stuff is normal. I think that’s just called “being human.”

What hasn’t always been normal for me is falling asleep like a baby every night, because my anxiety doesn’t have me tossing and turning for hours after getting into bed. That feeling is normal now, and I don’t take it for granted.

Other things that haven’t always been normal for me, but are a now a part of my daily reality (…most of the time, anyways): Having the ability to regulate my emotions. Knowing that my relationships are strong and secure. Feeling confident in my own skin. Feeling proud of my work. Knowing that I’m loved unconditionally by the people who matter most. Smiling and laughing every single day.

I’m at peace with my past (or at least, I’ve learned how to quiet those little reminders of my past mistakes and failures that my brain loves to throw at me); I’m optimistic about my future; and I spend the majority of my time each day truly living in the present moment.

Like I said: I’m happy.

But why am I sharing all of this publicly on my blog, where people come to find travel advice and inspiration?

Here’s why: y’all, I’m much happier right now than I was in 2015. That was the year I quit my job to travel solo, visited 7 countries, and took 16 flights—my busiest year of travel ever.

If you believe what every digital nomad on the internet has to say about quitting their jobs to travel, you might think I was “living the dream” that year.

And truthfully, I do believe that year was life-changing for me. I learned so much about myself…including the fact that I don’t need to be a full-time vagabond to be happy.

In fact, there is very little I do need to be happy. Here are some of those raw needs:

• Open communication in my relationships
• Quality time with the people I love
• Alone time for myself
• Enough financial security to never have to worry about rent
• A creative outlet
• A little bit of adventure

…and that last need? There are so many ways to satisfy it: a day trip to the coast, a quick drive up to the city, a weekend trip to the mountains, visiting a new winery 20 minutes away…or yes, a big international getaway. Hell, even a date night to a new restaurant on a Friday!

Travel is still something I love just as much as I did a year ago, or five years ago. It’s still something I crave and dream about. I still plan out itineraries for trips I may never take, and I still watch all of the travel documentaries and series I can get my hands on.

Seeing the world is probably my greatest passion in life, and I want to do it as much as I’m able to..but I don’t need it to be happy.

In terms of international travel, this has been my slowest year ever since I started traveling regularly. I’ve taken one single trip abroad (albeit a very epic bucket list trip)!

These days, I’m spending much more time and money on different priorities (my dog, our insanely high Bay Area rent, tons of weekend getaways around California) meaning I have less to spend on jet-setting around the world.

And yet—in case I haven’t made it perfectly clear already—I’m the happiest and most satisfied with my life that I’ve ever been. How the heck does that make sense?!

Here’s what I think: I spent a lot of my early-to-mid-20’s trying new things, and then self-reflecting on my feelings in response to those new things.

I traveled a lot with my now-husband, Derek; I quit my job to travel solo; I tried out a new career as a travel agent; I started working from home; I started this blog; I partied; I exercised; I made new types of friends; I stayed in $5 per night hostels; I stayed in luxurious European hotels.

I researched, planned, made mistakes, cried over said mistakes, picked myself back up off the floor, and did it all over again and again.

Self-discovery is freaking hard, y’all. Especially when you have a massive black cloud of anxiety hanging over your head, waiting to break open and pour down on you at any moment.

Sometimes, life sucks. And sometimes, life is so unbelievably beautiful and soul sparking that you can’t even believe how lucky you are to be here.

I think experiencing as many types of moments as possible—good and bad—is how you learn to be happy, no matter where you are in the world.

For the record, I’m not talking about being happy in the face of trauma or a tragedy or genuine depression; I’m talking about everyday happiness when life is generally smooth sailing, even if there a few moments of rough waters.

That’s the kind of happiness I feel these days….and that’s the kind of happiness that I believe everyone is capable of feeling, if they’re willing to experiment and put in the work for it.

Keep an open mind, try new things, venture out of your comfort zone, face failures head-on, own your mistakes, cry when you need to, open up to others, embrace your individuality, and keep moving forward.

I never want to be unrealistic; I know that not every person who reads this will be able to test the waters of life in the exact same way as me. Quitting your job to go backpacking for a few months is something you do need some privilege and luck to accomplish. I’m sorry if that offends anyone, but it’s true.

Sure, I’ll take some credit for my experiences. I saved my money relentlessly, and it took a lot of bravery to book that flight and commit to that trip all by myself. I don’t care if it sounds cocky—I was brave, and I’m proud of myself for taking that leap and doing something that scared the shit out of me.

But also…I had a paid-for education and a good job that paid me enough money, which was what enabled me to save all that travel money in the first place. I had family and a partner that supported me. I had no pets or children. I was healthy.

The good news? Quitting your job to travel is a great way to discover more about yourself, but it’s far from the only way. Join a book club! Commit to a weekly painting class! Take up indoor rock climbing! Hike a new local trail every weekend! Take a road trip! Sleep outside!

Make your own life full and exciting, and I promise that you will learn over time what you truly need to feel happy, and what blessings you may currently be taking for granted.

If you’re like me, you will reach a point where you will learn what YOUR ideal lifestyle looks like. It doesn’t need to look like mine, or your mother’s, or your best friend’s, or your favorite Instagrammer’s. It just needs to be yours.

Here’s my ideal lifestyle:

• Being married. Self-explanatory. Marriage rocks!
• Working remotely (i.e. from home) as a freelance/contract copywriter. I love writing, and I love the flexibility that freelance work gives me. There are a ton of downsides to freelance work (such as inconsistent income), but for me, they’re worth the payoff.
• Doing as much fun stuff as possible on the weekend. Visiting local wineries, taking day trips, weekend trips, dinners with friends, whatever. These things bring me so much joy, and I’m happy to spend my money, time and energy on them.
• Taking 1-2 “big” international trips per year. For me, this is a sustainable goal that works with my lifestyle.

Interestingly, my philosophy on travel (and on travel blogging) really hasn’t changed much over the past 4-5 years. My “About Me” page was one of the first things I ever published; here is what I wrote then:

This blog is the story of my endeavor to balance a “normal” lifestyle with an adventurous spirit. My hope is that my travels and stories will inspire others to see more of the world, without feeling required to give up the comforts of home in the process.

Bam. Those two sentences, written in February 2015, summed up what I’ve been rambling on about for the past 1600 words. I love traveling so much, and I’ll always want to inspire and help others to do more of it…but I never want to mislead anyone into thinking that more travel = more happiness.

If you love to travel, and want to do more of it (and I assume you do, or else why are you here?) then DO IT. But if you feel conflicted because you also like the idea of living a more traditional lifestyle, with a home and a pet and a job and a steady partner, DO THAT TOO.

Do both! Who says you can’t do both? I’m doing both…and while my lifestyle right now looks a bit different than it did two years ago, or five years ago, really I’ve been doing both this whole time.

Ultimately, becoming a digital nomad and traveling full-time might make you exponentially happier…or it might not. You might feel exactly the same. You might feel worse.

Your life doesn’t have to look the same as anybody else’s, so don’t waste your emotions and energy wishing you were living someone else’s dream life (especially if you’re basing it on social media).

Start living your own instead…whatever that looks like.

…so, yeah. That’s where I’m at right now, and that’s what’s on my heart.

More than four years down the road, and this blog remains what it has always been, and will likely always be: the ramblings and stories of a “normal” American woman, living her best life on her own terms and having as many adventures as possible along the way.

I’ve got a lot of places left to explore in the world, both around the globe and in my own (figurative) backyard. And I’m looking forward to each and every one them…some of which are in the works right now.

To the 20,000 of you who continue to follow along with my adventures here, you rock! I hope you’re out there having just as many adventures of your own ♥

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