I remember being 13 years old, sitting on some concrete steps somewhere in Paris with my dad and one of my younger sisters. It was summertime, it was sunset, and the sky was a beautiful shade of pinky orange. There were street performers nearby, and someone was playing the drums. The area was crowded with tourists enjoying the warm weather and good lighting. The mood was festive, casual and happy, mixed with a twinge of bittersweet sadness because we were flying home in the morning.

You know what I don’t remember? The name of the street we were on, which neighborhood we were in, whether or not the Eiffel Tower was visible from where we were sitting, the hotel we stayed in, where or what we ate for dinner, or what sights we saw earlier that day.

All that I remember is feeling pure happiness, and wishing that the evening would never end.

I also remember the incredible feeling of completing my first open water scuba dive, the mix of nerves and excitement I felt when arriving in the Munich airport during my first ever solo trip, the pure wonder I felt when I laid eyes on Machu Picchu, the panic of losing my entire wallet in Colombia, the humiliation I felt when a native Spanish speaker told me I was beautiful and I enthusiastically agreed with them, prompting endless laughter (I thought they were talking about the beautiful scenery!) and the feeling of gratitude and amazement I felt while gazing up at sights like the Grand Palace in Bangkok and the Colosseum in Rome.

The details? They’re hazy. I don’t necessarily remember the weather, or the faces of the people I was with, or the colors of the surrounding buildings. But the memories of the feelings themselves are strong.

While I understand the value of having a travel “bucket list,” I also think that it can be all too easy to get caught up in the “numbers game,” in turn placing too much importance on seeing specific sights and crossing them off.

See Stonehenge, then cross it off. Visit Cape Town, then cross it off. Make it to Everest Base Camp, then cross it off.

But you know what? The “seeing” and the “crossing off” of specific places are actually – in my opinion – not the most important aspects of travel. Don’t get me wrong; I love seeing new, beautiful sights just as much as the next traveler. But it’s the feeling of seeing that sight, city or country that will really stick with you. That’s the part that really matters; that’s what travelers are really chasing, even if they don’t consciously realize it.

Ten years after seeing that wonder of the world that you always dreamed of seeing, it’s likely that you won’t even remember enough specific, visual, factual details to write a whole paragraph about it.

But you’ll remember with perfect clarity the way you felt when you looked at it.

Your life won’t suddenly be altered or improved after you’ve seen the Eiffel Tower, Machu Picchu, or the Pyramids of Giza. You won’t feel like a different person just because you’ve finally made it to Italy, or crossed Iceland off your bucket list. The fact that you’ve seen Victoria Falls but never made it to India won’t be your final thought on your deathbed.

That’s not what it’s about.

This is what it’s about:

It’s about how it feels to stand next to ruins that are thousands of years old, imagining what it must have been life to be alive so long ago, and wondering if people back then experienced reality the same way you do – whether they had similar thoughts, emotions, fears, and hopes.

It’s about doing something that you never thought physically possible – completing a long and grueling hike, skydiving, or learning to scuba dive – because for whatever reason, being in a new place gave you the courage to try it.

It’s about the raw, haunting sadness and hopelessness you feel when you visit a place where something very terrible happened a very long time ago.

It’s about the pure awe, wonder, and splendor you feel when you catch sight of something so unbelievably beautiful that you suddenly are sure the world must be a better place than you ever thought possible, just because this one beautiful thing exists.

It’s about the way it feels to be fully out of your element – existing in a place where you look differently, speak differently, and act differently than everyone else around you – and having the courage to be there anyways.

It’s about trying a local food for the first time, and wondering how you made it your entire lifetime without ever having tasted that food, because it just might be the best food in the world.

It’s about the feeling of stepping inside a gorgeously ornate church or temple that’s hundreds of years old, and wondering when and why they stopped building structures that were this breathtakingly beautiful.

It’s about having your beliefs and ideas challenged, and realizing that just because you believe something to be “normal” doesn’t mean that it’s the only right thing to believe.

It’s about the feeling of stumbling across a scene or sight that’s as unusual and unexpected as it is fascinating, and walking away feeling like a different person after you’ve seen it.

It’s about the pure comfort and contentment you feel as you sit at an outdoor sidewalk cafe, enjoying a hot cup of coffee and soaking in the architecture, language, sights, and smells of a foreign city.

It’s about the feeling of staying up all night with a group of fellow travelers, drinking cheap local wine and looking up at the stars, laughing and swapping stories until the sun rises, and doing it all again the next night.

It’s about the way it feels to talk for hours with someone you only just met – someone who comes from an entirely different country and culture than you – yet you feel like you must have known that person for your entire life, because the conversation comes so naturally and openly.

It’s about the feeling of throwing your arms in the air and spinning around in delighted circles on that beautiful beach, or in that fabulous hotel room, or on that rocky mountaintop, because for so long you had dreamed of visiting that exact spot, and you finally made it.

It’s about the anxiety and excitement of arriving in a new place for the first time, and the feeling of accomplishment and relief when you finally make it to your hotel without any major hiccups.

It’s about the heavy, bittersweet feeling you get in your chest when you have to board a plane to take you home, away from a foreign land that you’ve fallen hopefully head over heels for.

It’s about breaking down your personal boundaries and stepping outside of your comfort zone, forcing yourself into situations that can feel different, confusing, or even scary.

It’s about the feeling of realizing that there is much more to the world than you, or your circle of friends, or your hometown, or your country.

Seeing new countries and crossing destinations off your bucket list would be meaningless without the associated feelings, emotions, and personal memories. Without context, the Great Wall of China is just a military structure, and the Taj Mahal is just a mausoleum. With context, those sights become the highlight of your first solo trip, the place you got engaged, the day you met someone who changed your life, the first time you tried a new food, or your most cherished travel memory.

I’ve heard a lot of travelers (myself included) say that travel has changed them. I would argue that travel itself does not actually change people, but instead provides the inspiration for travelers to change themselves. You don’t need to be in a new place to try something new, learn something new, meet someone new, or feel something new.

You don’t need to travel and see the “must see” sights to live a full, happy, meaningful life that’s filled with love, excitement and wonder.

I think this is a great thing. You’ve heard me say before that I don’t buy into the philosophy that “anyone can travel.” It’s simply not true, and its naive to think that just because I can travel (thanks to a combination of both luck and hard work) that every last person on earth just needs to take the same steps as me to achieve the same results. Sorry, but no.

What I’m getting at is this: If you’re reading this right now and you’re not in a position where you can travel as much as you’d like, don’t worry about it. If travel is really your ultimate dream then you should absolutely keep working towards that dream, but don’t feel that your life is any less special or satisfying in the meantime.

Travel is not about seeing the “top 10 most beautiful places in the world” or visiting X number of countries or collecting stamps in your passport. It’s not about crossing off bucket list items or staying in that hotel with the amazing view or getting more likes on Instagram.

Travel is about living in the moment, appreciating what’s in front of you, growing as a person, feeling connected to the world as a whole, learning about different customs and cultures, opening your mind and heart, recognizing that there is both immense beauty and immense ugliness in the world, and making lasting memories based on feelings and emotions.

And that’s something you can do from anywhere in the world.

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Do you agree or disagree that travel is less about the sights you see, and more about the feelings you experience? What is travel really about for YOU?

 

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