I’m not sure if this makes me strange, or if this is something that everyone who travels can relate to.
I’ve never been the kind of person to get homesick. When I was younger and went away to summer camp, I never missed my home. I never cried for my parents, or my bed, or my stuff, or the things from home that brought me comfort. I never needed it–I was always more than happy to be right where I was.
In fact, it was only after I returned home that I experienced symptoms of what could be described as “homesickness”. Upon returning home from camp and extended family vacations, I was always plagued by a sense of sadness. The best way to describe it was that I missed the feeling of those places. I missed the sights, the sounds, the people and the activities, but more than anything I missed the way it felt to be there. When I’d return from summer camp, for example, I’d miss the way it felt to fall asleep to the sound of chirping crickets in a cabin with 20 new friends my age, and the way it felt to listen to ghost stories by the campfire. When I’d return from family vacations, I’d miss the way it felt to eat watermelon on the beach with my cousins by day, and fall asleep happy and exhausted by the sun each night.
Now that I’m older, the only thing that has changed is that I now have the opportunity to travel away from home even more often, which means more opportunities to fall in love with new places over and over, and to be torn away from them over and over.
In fact, I’ve noticed a trend–one that seems to keep getting worse the older I get. Each and every time I return from a new place, after a few weeks I begin to feel incredibly nostalgic, to the point where I would absolutely book a one-way ticket and go back right this instant if I could.
I find it so strange that I’ve never experienced anything remotely close to homesickness when I’m on the road. The strange beds, the constant packing and unpacking of bags, the feeling of being lost and overwhelmed, the extreme distance between myself and my loved ones–it has never once worn me down. Then again, I’ve never been away from home for months at a time, so I can’t speak to how I’d fare in that situation. But to be honest, I have a feeling that I would be quite alright.
I say this because my family moved a lot when I was younger. In fact, I attended 2 elementary schools, 3 high schools (one of those was a boarding school) and 3 universities–all in different cities and states. Throughout all of these moves, I was weirdly okay. Even going off to boarding school for two years was simply a new adventure for me, and I was happy to be in a new place and make new friends. Sure, living in a dorm far from home with no roommate, laptop, or TV in my room as a junior in high school was a little weird, but I adapted quickly and never looked back. By attending three colleges, there were certainly times when I felt lonely and it was definitely difficult to make friends at each of those places (especially the second one…literally no friends for a year), but during those times I actually learned to embrace the loneliness. I’ve never been the type of person to miss my old neighborhood, or my old house, or my old bedroom–which makes me think I never will be that kind of person.
Maybe it’s because my family had lived in a total of 12 house by the time I graduated from college, so I never had the chance to develop a strong sense of “home”. Maybe it’s just the way I’m programmed. Who knows? Whatever it is, I just don’t get homesick.
…That is, of course, until I get home.
My most recent trip abroad was to Thailand, which has been number one on my personal bucket list as long as I can remember. Honestly, it was every bit as perfect as I imagined. Of course, that’s not to say that everything went smoothly. I got grotesquely sunburned, was stung by a jellyfish on my birthday, almost fainted from the heat, tripped in a hole and strained my knee, allowed myself to be absurdly overcharged because I’m bad at haggling, suffered through sleeping in a beach hut with no A/C for five nights, showered with ants, ate a number of questionable meals, and got bombarded by mosquitoes.
And yet, I. Miss. Thailand. So. Much.
In fact, I’m absolutely dying to get back to Southeast Asia ASAP and explore more of it. I just miss the way it feels to be there, plain and simple. It’s like a legitimate sadness that I feel in my chest. I miss those sweaty drunk backpackers that made me question the values of my generation. I miss the communication mishaps. I miss the way it feels to walk down a road in Bangkok and say to myself “Holy cow, I’m in Bangkok!”
Does it make me heartless for missing foreign lands more than I miss my own family and friends? Does it make me abnormal that I ache for the confusion, chaos, and wonder of traveling more than I ache for the comforts of home when I’m away? I have no idea.
I think it may be similar to the phenomenon of missing an ex-lover. Maybe you ended on good terms, maybe not. Maybe it was a long affair, maybe it was just a short fling. Either way, you don’t have it anymore–and because of that, it makes you want it even more.
Have you ever felt this way about a place you visited? Which do you miss more–your home, or anywhere but home?
Wow, I can completely relate to this! Even when I studied abroad in Spain for a semester, I literally almost NEVER thought about home. I was having so much fun, I didn’t even have FOMO about what I could be missing at home. Now that I’m back in the U.S., I’d honestly give anything to be back there!
Oh, and also I LOVE the way you compared traveling to being in love. Spain was definitely an excellent lover 😉 hahaha
Hahah love it! Glad to hear I’m not the only crazy lady in the world who would rather be on the road than at home (at least most of the time). Luckily I’ve only been in Houston, my newest home, for about 4 months so there’s still plenty to explore, which helps!! Hope you’re able to make it back to Spain one day soon!
Thanks, me too! 🙂 But then there’ always the dilemma of choosing whether to go back to somewhere I already love, or going somewhere new that I’ve been dying to see!
Yeah, there’s definitely something to be said for both options!!
YES love this post!! I definitely get what you mean about moving a lot influencing your sense of home. We’ve had to live in quite a few places for my dad’s job (including once overseas) and although I was always momentarily sad about leaving my friends, I was always excited about getting to the new place and meeting new friends–even in high school.
Yeah, we had to move because of my dad’s job too. There was one move in high school that was a little rough for me at first, but eventually I was SO thankful it happened!
What a great post!! It’s like you put my thoughts into words 🙂 … I don’t miss home but I miss all the places I’ve already been… I never left home growing up my first time was traveling and then my move abroad… But somehow I haven’t looked back or felt a need to.
Yeah, I can definitely relate! Once you get that first experience abroad, it’s like that’s all you ever want!
Very interesting thoughts. I’m rarely feeling homesick as well. Anyway, I always like coming home to visit my family (living in another town than me). That’s kind another great journey for me 🙂
That’s true! My parents live near me, but I’m sure if I lived farther away I’d be more interested in visiting back home 🙂
Absolutely. Holidays at home can be really enjoyable, too 🙂
I couldn’t agree more 🙂 And I think those feelings, don’t mean we’re heartless. Absolutely not. We’re just people who desperately need to be stimulated, to seek out new things, new experiences, cross boundaries. We’re travelers!!!
That’s a good way of putting it!! I can definitely agree that I always feel the need to seek out new experiences and boundaries!
I’m so glad to hear others can relate- I always wondered if something was wrong with me because I never feel homesick when I travel! I also definitely miss the chaos and unfamiliarity of certain countries more than the comforts of home!
Haha, I’ve definitely worried about that too! Glad to hear we’re on the same page (along with quite a few other people!)
Yes yes yes! You just put my mind and heart to words! Couldn’t have said it any better myself 🙂
Yay, glad to hear from someone else who’s on the same page!
YES preach!! This literally speaks to my soul. It’s good to hear that I’m not alone with my desire to always be on the go! 🙂
Haha, definitely not! 🙂
Oh my god, are you my secret twin??! I feel exactly the same way as you – in fact, this is what I wrote in my “About Me” section on my website:
“For as long as I can remember, I have always been independent and loved going abroad – or even just ‘away’. From the age of five, my ‘cruel’ parents sent me to summer camp for several weeks every year, and while the other children would cry out for their families, I loved it and don’t recall ever getting homesick! I was too busy trying out new activities – ranging from sailing and ice-skating to, erm, circus training – and making new friends, and would invariably wish for the holiday never to end. In fact, I would usually give my parents the cold shoulder when they came to pick me up.”
Sound familiar haha? Anyway, great post!
http://www.camilleinwonderlands.com
Hahah oh my god, that’s actually SO strange!! I think we might really be twins…too bad we never got sent to the SAME summer camp so we could have our Parent Trap/Lindsay Lohan moment hahah (if you’ve never seen that, please just pretend you know what I’m talking about so I don’t sound like an idiot haha).
Hahaha, I know it don’t worry! Yeah, so many of my friends hated summer camp and were traumatised by it, while I loved it! Like you said, sometimes I wonder if I’m super-callous, but it’s not that I don’t love my family or anything, it’s just…I don’t know…I’m weird? 🙂
(Btw, I think my comment linked to my old WordPress site. My travel blog is below if you want to connect!)
http://www.camilleinwonderlands.com
Haha, I totally get it! And yeah it did, no worries I saw your new one though!
I can really relate to this! I definitely appreciate returning to my hometown, Brisbane, and I love it, but I get so “homesick” for Paris, even though the longest I’ve been there was when I was on exchange. You explained it so well though, being plagued by sadness and missing tiny details, missing being there. I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Exactly! I’m sure that after doing an exchange in Paris, it must have been really hard to leave! I would totally be homesick for Paris all the time after that too.
I feel like I miss the places I’ve lived abroad (Japan, France and the UK) maybe because it’s a case of “the grass is always greener on the other side” syndrome. And maybe because I’m stuck in a place I’d rather not be at. Like you, I’m not the kind to feel homesick.
Rashaad recently posted…Home Sweet Home – Graduation
I found this looking for some answers to my feelings. I just cane back from vacationes on Jan 5. I been missing the places I been, specia6Buenois Aires, maybe because we stay there the longest. But every time I travel I get the same feeling. I am so happy that I am no the only one. 😊🤣
I found this looking for some answers to my feelings. I just came back from vacations on Jan 5. I been missing the places I been, specially Buenois Aires, maybe because we stay there the longest. But every time I travel I get the same feeling. I am so happy that I am not the only one. 😊🤣
Reply